Silent…but only for the moment

A shot at my reputation, personality, looks or behavior. And I look on, smile a brave smile. Shake my head in disbelief. I stand silent. But not for long. A shot at my past mistakes, old boyfriends, misconceptions, lack of this or that. And I take a mental deep breathe. Recompose myself. I stand silent but not for long. A shot at my friendships, my friends, myself, my family. And I sit, annoyed, a little angry but still silent. Count backwards from 100. Deep breathes. Say a little prayer for my sanity and theirs. I stand silent, but not for long. A shot at every single move I make. If I speak, I’m attacked. If I’m silent, I’m weak. If I speak to my friends, I’m seeking approval from others. If I don’t, I’m pathetic because I don’t have confidants. So what do I do? I stand silent. But not for long. A shot at my self esteem, self worth, self confidence. And I am INSPIRED! Excuse me? Are you talking? About me? You’re wildin’. You must not realize that self-esteem is esteem of SELF. You can’t affect how I feel about me. I love what God made me. I love what God is making me. Self worth? I’m worth a lot. I’m priceless. In my own eyes and in the eyes of those that matter. Self confidence? Very much so. I’ve learn that I am a force to be reckoned with. Yes, I once stood silent, but not anymore. A shot at me will get you nowhere. I am a celebrity so talking about me makes you seem important. But it’s  a delusion. You don’t make a drop in the well of knowledge in my life. Keep shooting if you must. I am not your target.

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