The Art of War….

I had this friend who inspired in me the kind of love and loyalty I usually save for Tomi or Ope or Kanyin. The kind where if I had a choice between saving her life or saving my own, its no contest, I’ll gladly give mine up so she can live. We had so much in common I almost felt like we where two halves of the same whole. But because of time, space and third parties, this friendship is dead. I know it was necessary. Because something so beautiful has turned completely disfunctional and I don’t think it would be fair to either of us to live dysfunctional lives just because of the other. We grew apart and we had to leave each other alone. From time to time I still think about my friend. I still miss her. But I realize that we are at such different places in our lives now that it is impossible for us to maintain the same closeness. And besides, third parties wouldn’t let us even if we wanted to. Now, we joke about each other’s failures. We speak only when spoken to. We apologize for past hurts but then use those hurtful actions as entertainment for our other friends. So this is for the friend I use to have. May you find happiness in life and continue to live life graciously.

…In you I saw hope for the future. Hope for love, because you loved everyone without a limit. Hope for success because you professed it as though you see it. In you I saw life and life abundantly. You lived for today, not tomorrow, not next week. When you gave your heart, you did it with such class and grace. It inspired me to look my fear of love in the face. In you I started to see a new woman. One who only needed me when I was her last resort. It made me sad because I wasn’t in your thoughts. You only wanted me when if I made myself your sidekick. Or if your other friends weren’t empathizing. In you I saw a lost friend. One who toggled between two extremes. On one side you were the woman with a heart of gold. On the other, the one who could deal such horrific blows. I watched you with other ‘women’ and couldn’t believe it. Wondering if the this has been you all along and I just didn’t see it. I observed as you no longer acknowledged my hello. Then the final blow came with the word that ends in O! It blew my mind that you were once my friend. It made me angry enough to want it to end. So I ended it with my words that shew no mercy. Then you retaliated by trying to embarrass me. I still think about the knock on my door, the messages on my phone. How many people wouldn’t leave me alone. The boy in DC, who never met me but called me a b****. The girl who is posing as your friend, but who’s really a snitch. Despite the ugly things we both did. I still rather remember the way we use to live. When you offered me your ear, your heart and your shoulder. When our love and friendship made us bolder. Bolder than the men who tried to break us down. Bolder than the women who wanted to take our crown.  So, despite how badly I hurt or how I may have hurt you, simply take this poem as a sign of a love that was once true. That is all I can say, I can say no more. The title of this piece, the art of war.

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