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Still In Love

Despite the heartache, the foolishness and the many hours of crying, I’m still in love. I’m in love with the idea that out there lives a man who is for me and me alone. I’m still in love with the thought that this man does not "complete" me but rather compliment the woman I am. I am still in love with the idea that a man will leave his father and mother and cleave only onto his wife. I’m still in love with the thought that all the love I’ve saved for 23 years is destined for one man and him only. I’m still in love with the thought that God created me to be the flesh of his flesh and the bone of his bone. I’m still in love with the thought that there is an Adam to my Eve. Maybe equally as flawed but still the one for me. Because of that love, I smile when I see a new face. Because of that love, I respect a man when he tells me he’s going to call and actually does it. Because of that love I still smile when doors are opened and chairs are pulled out for me. Because of that love I still accept invitations to dinners and movies. Because of that love I still leave my heart open to new experiences. Because of that love, I still say a prayer every night for him. Because of that love, I keep my faith in love…and I’m still in love with love!

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Loyalty…

Is it too much to expect a little loyalty? To expect that my best friend wouldn’t continue to call the guy who broke my heart her brother? To expect that the man who once claimed to love me wouldn’t date my nemesis? To expect that the friend who claims to have my back wouldn’t set me up for failure? It is too much to expect a little loyalty? To expect that a sisterhood of 11 years would outweigh a friendship of a few? To expect that my inner circle wouldn’t be the one to make me feel insecure? To expect that my friends know that hanging out with my ex is out of the question? To expect that my ex knows that trying to worm his way in my circle is completely absurd? Is it too much to expect a little loyalty? To expect you to see my side because after all you are MY friend? And even if I am wrong isn’t there a better way to show me than throwing your friendship with my ex in my face? Is it too much to expect a little loyalty? To expect that a relationship that spanned over 6 years would make you show me at least one ounce of respect? To expect that the trifling things you did to me would make you at least a little bit apologetic? Is it too much to expect a little loyalty? To expect that because we’ve slept under the same roof countless of times, you would at least think before you drag my name in the mud? To expect that because my parents treat us like family, you wouldn’t go out of your way to try and ruin me? Is it too much to expect a little loyalty? To expect that because I am always there in your time of need, my friendship would hold a priority to you? To expect that because I stand by you regardless of whatever, you would do the same when I needed you? IS IT TOO MUCH TO EXPECT A LITTLE LOYALTY?????