Expectantly Striving for Greatness

So, I’m sitting here in my office at my desk, looking out my window (yes, my office, my desk, my window 🙂 and I’m not unhappy with the way things are going right now, but I’m still expecting bigger things. I have already given the things I want to accomplish this year to God. But its not a matter of waiting till December of 2008 to see if I did everything I wanted to get done. I have a goal for each month and I expect to meet it. If I fall short on one month, I have to work twice as hard in the one that follows. My life is good. Not great but its definately getting there day by day. It seems like I can’t have a conversation with anyone without them asking me when I’m going to be walking down the aisle. I guess they figure since I’m completely done with school and building my practice, that is the next logical step. I’m thinking to myself "Am I marrying me? Because otherwise I’m not the person you should be asking." If a woman had the power to chose exactly when she is to be married (outside of just setting a wedding date with one’s fiancee) then I can guarantee that a lot of my friends would not be single right now. Its not just a matter of "okay, I’m done with school; let’s get married!" It has to be the right person, the right time, the right financial situation, the right family dynamics, the right income level, the right EVERYTHING! Since I don’t have the power to control EVERYTHING, I leave it in the hands of the Only One who can. I am not trying to jump the gun. People don’t seem to understand that since I don’t have the luxury that my parents had of dating each other for 10 years, the decision as to who to marry is one that SHOULD give me pause. Just because I’m working now doesn’t mean anything! What kind of success story would I be if it went something like this (Graduated high school at 16, graduated college with honors at 20, finished law school and passed the bar by 23, married at 25, divorced sometime after). God forbid! So, I wish these well-wishers would leave me alone for a while and do the one thing that I actually need them to do, which is lift me up in prayers. I expect nothing but greatness from myself but I gotta do one thing at a time. Once I start averaging the income that God and I talked about, then step 1 in completed. Then, I need to build this ministry that God has given me to a whole new level. Step 2 completed. THEN, I can say I am completely and totally ready to be wife and mother. Now, I know better than anyone that life has a way of rearranging your perfectly-made plans, so if things happen out of the chronological order that I set out, I guess I will have to roll with it. But left up to me, the way you see it right now is the way its gonna be. I expect greatness from myself but I wish people would let me acheive my greatness one thing at a time 🙂

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