I Can Only Be Me

I can’t do it like you did it or she does it, if I did then I wouldn’t be me. I can’t do it any other way than the best way I know how. I know you’re scared. I know you want to lock me up in a little box and carry me only where you want me to go but life doesn’t work like that. If I make a mistake, guess what? It was my mistake to make. This is my life, not yours. You can help, you can advise, you can pray but you can’t live it for me. I am not dumb to the fact that every other woman you know of my same age is along that path. That’s because it is their season. What exactly do you want me to do with my life, put my wealth and prosperity on the back burner and chase after another human being? For what? The sake of a piece of jewelry I can buy for myself? A lifetime committment neither one us are financially ready for? Please don’t suggest that because it is out of the question. I can’t do things your way because this is not your life. It’s mine. God gave it to me and only He can direct me where I need to go from here. You can help, like I said before, but you can’t live it for me. I can’t do it like you did it because it makes absolutely no sense. Trying to make a square box fit into triangle opening makes no sense. You should evaluate the way you did and then ask yourself, HONESTLY, if it would work for me, right here and right now. The answer I assure you is no, it wouldn’t. Because we are not the same people. We are not in the same situation. I don’t have the luxury of being fifteen again. I am who I am at this point. I have to live my life from this point on. I can’t dwell on the past or how things should have gone. Things are what they are and I’m making the best of them. I understand that you’re concerned. That’s your job. But for the love of God, please, draw a line between being concerned and being smothering. If I don’t even have room to breathe how am I suppose to grow? If I don’t get to try new things and possibly make new mistakes, how am I suppose to learn? If you trusted the job you did then why are you treating me like I don’t have a mind of my own. I can’t do it like you did, and as a matter of fact, I won’t. Because if I did that, I wouldn’t be me anymore, I would be You, The Sequel. And Lord knows, I can only be me.

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