A Work In Progress

I always thought that once I broke out of a habit it would be gone forever. Boy, was I ever wrong. Old habits do indeed die hard. Something I stopped doing almost 8 years ago is rearing it’s ugly head. I try to become a better person with each passing year but this setback is messing with my head. I know it’s because I haven’t been praying like I should and I haven’t been in my Word the way I should have been. But now that I know the underlying cause, I can get on a path to fixing it. I always thought that God couldn’t use me until I was perfect. Thankfully, my spiritual mentors have helped me to understand that once I give myself to Him completely and let Him use me as He sees fit, He will perfect me for His work. I worked through that thought but now I’m realizing that for the past couple of years I’ve been subconsciously thinking that God wouldn’t bless my marriage until I was perfect. That I couldn’t be married until I was a perfect woman according to His Holy Word. Now I’m realizing once again that perfection has only ever been achieved by one man, Jesus Christ. My aim and goal in life is to be Christ-like. I have to do all that is within my power to do things Christ-like but it doesn’t mean I will always succeed. It means I have to get up after each failure and ask God to renew my strength and help me to do things by His power. So that is what I am going to do from this day forth. I won’t dwell in my failures and I won’t dwell on my shortcomings. I have to dwell on the fact that my perfection and righteousness can only come from Christ. I have to repent each and every time I fall into sin and flee from temptation so that I don’t make the same mistakes over and over again. My biggest fear in life is to live hypocritically. I don’t want to be one person on paper and another person in reality. I will continue to work on myself, continue to learn to submit, continue to mold myself into a wife in the spirit, all with God’s help and from now until the day I take my last breath, I know I will be a work in progress.

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