Meditations of My Heart

I’ll do anything to bring glory to God. I’ll do anything to stay in His Will. If it means swallowing my pride and eating humble pie – begging for forgiveness even as my own heart still hurts. If it means leaving behind something so dear to me for so many years – something I was praying would be in my future for years to come. If it means reclusing myself from activities with questionable motives – things that do not distinctively glorify God. If it means becoming vigilant against sin, watching for every foothold it could use to gain access into my life and blocking it with prayer, with meditation on the Word and with God-centered activities. I’ll do anything to give glory to God. I’ll do anything to stay in His will. It never occured to me that I would HAVE to! But I had to. I had to let go of that one thing that had been a constant for 28 months. Had to let go of that all-consuming love that’s been a staple for 168 months -had to let it simmer down to something manageable, something like love from a distance – nothing like long-distance love though. Because that long-distance love can trap you into that all consuming love. Had to let go of that feverish need to get closer than close – that need that’s been a monument for 1440 days. Had to let go of that monument because that monument was taking the shape of an idol. Being worshipped in my heart in the place of God. Yup, definitely had to let that go. Had to let go of those strings. Those loosely attached strings that don’t really mean any harm, but ever so often they’ll get caught on something filthy and drag me down. It’s not their fault that they get dirty – but I had to let them go before they get caught on something so heavy that it’ll pull me down, never to rise again. Had to let them go. I liked those strings though. They were pretty, festive even! They made me look so decorated when I went out. They looked like party decorations – they made me eye-catching. But no, those strings had to go. Those strings didn’t mean to but they kept getting caught on sins and if I let them, those sins would have crept back in. So, yeah, I had to cut those strings. I’ll do anything to bring glory to God, even though I didn’t realize I would HAVE to – if it brings glory to God, I’ll do it all over again.

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