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The Difference A Year Can Make

This time last year, I was working on my relationship, trying to answer the questions I still had about whether or not it was the relationship God intended for me. This time last year, I had one particular friend that I loved spending time with almost more than any other friend. Today, that relationship is no more and I am fervently concentrated on my relationship with Christ. Desiring a fruit-bearing relationship with the King of Kings before I get into one with anyone else. Today, that friendship that I cherished just 365 days ago is no more. God has removed the chaff from my life and I am on to bigger and better things.

This time last year, I was definitely flirting with sin. Promoting Christ with my lips but unwilling to let go of my favorite sinful habits. Today, it is by God’s grace that I have cut every cord to every known sin and I battle daily against the subtle devices of the enemy to throw me off my game. Today, it is by God’s grace that I can speak and teach the younger women who are coming up behind me based SOLELY on the truth of God’s Word. This time last year, I was putting myself in compromising positions to please others. Doing things that went against my beliefs as well as my standards for acceptable behavior, all in the name of a delusion. A delusion that had every indication that it would ruin my life. Yet, I wasn’t strong enough to say no because I wanted the approval of others more than I sought after the approval of God.

This time last year, I was a different person – spiritually, emotionally and socially.

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I Was Casting My Pearls Before Swine

Last week when I was doing my bible study, I read Matthews 7:6 which states “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” And I’ve come across the verse before, back when I use to read the Bible like it was optional and back then I didn’t even bother trying to figure out what it meant. But when I read it last week, it bothered me that I couldn’t figure out what the verse was trying to say so I did some research on it. What I found was that when we try to share godly wisdom or testimony with others who are NOT in the faith or who have a judgmental spirit, we are casting our pearls before swine. The word of my testimony is a pearl; the knowledge I have from God’s word is a pearl. When I share it with someone who lacks Godly wisdom and/or has a judgmental spirit that they refuse to repent from, this same person can and usually will come back at the end of the day and drag me through the mud based on what I was sharing with them. Instead of rejoicing with me over the sinful and fleshly habits that God has delivered me from, they would hate or despise me for what I use to be – not counting me worthy to be forgiven. When I gained that perspective I then realized that a lot of times this writer’s heart of mine that encourages me to share EVERYTHING with everyone was actually causing me to cast my pearls before swine and give what is holy to the dogs. I find myself at a semi-lonely place in life right now because all the people I’ve gotten accustomed to sharing my heart with are no longer my friends.  But I thank God for providing me with a smaller number of like-minded women who are also seeking the very heart of God. It may only be one or two in my life but at least I know I have someone to call when I need to be encouraged in my spirit or I just want some fellowship.

So, all this time when I’ve been hurt and heartbroken because ‘friends’ that I shared my thoughts and testimonies with have come back to hurt me, abandon me or betray those confidences, it could very well be because I was casting my pearls before those who lacked the Godly wisdom that God is teaching me by His grace.