Have you ever?

Have you ever tried to see yourself through someone else’s eyes? I attempt it on a continual basis, not always with much success. Most of the time, I try to “read” people’s mind about me based on their actions. If someone is particularly friendly and compassionate, I assume they think well of me. If someone is standoffish or even a bit cruel, I assume they don’t think highly of me. With these assumptions in place, I start working backwards in my mind, trying to narrow down the actual occasion that caused this person to have a particular outlook on me. In short, I drive myself crazy. God forbid I find a memory of a time when I may have caused offense to another. I labor on it, trying to dissect it from every angle, usually wondering why I had behaved so wrongly, why this person didn’t bring it to my immediate attention, why they wouldn’t forgive me and if there was a hope for reconciliation. I drive myself even crazier.

Now imagine standing before the person whose opinion means the world to you and having to recount with your own lips all of the ways in which you have deliberately offended them – occasions of wrongdoings of which they had no previous knowledge. Were it not for your candor, this person you love the most in the world may or may not actually know these unflattering details about you. Imagine standing there in anguish about the details you have to share and the hurt you have to inflict, tearfully and truthfully exposing the darkest parts of your character. Imagine watching your beloved reactions as you hit them with truth after truth, possibly altering forever the image and beliefs they had regarding you.

Imagine standing silent, eyes low and head bent in shame after pouring out your ugliest truths – awaiting judgment, sentence, a reaction, anything! Imagine this person whom you have offended more than 70 X 7 times taking your hand and smiling into your eyes, whispering “I love you and nothing you can do or say will ever change that.”

There are only two people who have ever done this in my life.

The first One declared His love for me thousands of years before I was even born; it prompted me to give my life to Him, wholeheartedly and without question.

The second one stands protectively by my side, taking my hand, guarding my heart against any onslaught of pain, working as an instrument of the One who first forgave me. This lack of judgment, this unwavering love and acceptance caused me to respond as well – by wearing his ring on my left hand and waiting joyously to stand before God and man and pledge to love and honor him for the rest of our lives.

Thank You Jesus, the Lover of my soul and Savior who gave all for me even when I was living against Your will.

And thank you Opeyemi mi for embracing me wholeheartedly, loving me past my faults and being an instrument in God’s hands to mold me into the woman Christ intended for me to be all along.