What’s It Like? (Marriage Musings From A VERY Newlywed)

The journey of marriage is different for everyone who embarks on it. At only 19 days into our journey, I am not here to proclaim myself an expert on what marriage should look like. I do know that God has taught me some very remarkable truths as a single woman that have proven wonderfully effective as a married gal. Here are a few things I would like to share on what it’s like to be married for two weeks, four days and 23 hours and 52 minutes (and counting).

1. Obedience is better than sacrifice. The only reason I am enjoying the wonderful blessing that is my husband is because I finally came to a place of obedience to Christ after years of rebellion against God. If I had disobeyed, I would either be unhappily married to the wrong person or still seeking fulfillment from ungodly relationships. Letting go of the ungodly ties I had in the world freed me to obeyed God with all of my heart, in that place of obedience is when I met, courted, got engaged and eventually got married to God’s best for me. If I had done it my way, I would be miserable right now.

2. God gives us the desires of our heart and then He honors them. There were certain things I have always wanted in a mate – certain standards that I have seen in godly marriages that I wanted to be my own. These desires of mine were placed inside my heart by the Holy Spirit  Himself and when I recognized that, I held fast to them. Along with these standards, as I journeyed in courtship and engagement with my king, we also built a collective vision of what we wanted our wedding day and marriage to be like – number one on that list is that both bring glory to God. My heart verse for our wedding day was Psalm 34:5, which I happened upon when our church started reciting it as our watchword for the new year. It says “they looked to Him, and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed.” For me that verse was a picture of my husband and I on our wedding day and in our marriage, keeping our gaze steadfastly on the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and as we would keep Christ as our focus, His glory would radiate upon our lives and we will be honored and not put to shame. From finances, to our wedding looks, to the way we felt on our special day, Psalm 34:5 came ALIVE for us and I thank God that He gives us the desires of our hearts and honors them. There was ABSOLUTELY nothing that we desired for our wedding day and our marriage thus far that God has not provided. He is amazingly faithful.

3. Marriage is AMAZING! No matter how the world wants to paint it, no matter how high the divorce rate is and no matter how many foolish ideas are out there on what it means to love someone, I can say without a doubt that marriage is AMAZING! God is infinitely wise and the institution He created and ordained is so beyond any man made idea. I literally get to wake up every day with my best friend. From cooking for him, to watching a movie to doing household chores to running errands together, EVERYTHING about my life with my husband feels like one GIANT adventure! And this is all God’s idea! No matter how bananas my husband and I were about each other while we were engaged, marriage took it to whole new level. There such a joy and peace in knowing that we belong to one another and God is absolutely pleased with our love. No other commitment, no matter how profound or meaningful compares. There’s no fear here. Challenges will come some day I’m sure (we are still on Cloud 9, 10 and 11) 🙂 but being with my best friend, lover and number 1 human priority day in and day out makes any challenge worth overcoming for the sake of what we have with each other.

4. Wisdom is better than silver or gold.  The one thing that sticks out in my daily interactions with my husband is how EASILY we relate to one another and how effortlessly our household runs. This is credited to one thing and one thing only – P-R-E-P-A-R-A-T-I-O-N! While I was still single, God made it His business to begin my preparation for becoming a wife. For a year and a half while completely single, I imbibed countless hours of study, meditation and counsel on what relationships were suppose to look like from God’s perspective and the role of a wife in her home. It was amazing! So many wonderful counselors and mentors came my way and shared God’s truths with me. When I finally started courting my husband, we were flanked on every side by spiritually sound authority figures who were invested in our success as a couple. From informal talks right up to pre-marital counseling, everyone in our lives made it their business to prepare us for what was ahead. Furthermore, because neither my husband nor I had a rigid timetable on when things had to be done, we were free to grow in  our friendship with each other and just enjoy learning one another. We didn’t move from friendship to courtship to engagement to marriage based on anything other than God’s instruction to us. We didn’t rush any of our seasons, we savored them. The wisdom of God through His Holy Word, through the Holy Spirit and through our godly counselors ensured that we were ready for our lives together. Now that we’re living it, we see how invaluable each stage of preparation was for us, without it, our joy would not be full as it is right now.

So, I am not an expert by any means. I am simply a woman who is ENJOYING the blessings of God that makes rich and adds absolutely no sorrow with it. Marriage is a God idea and it is a GREAT IDEA! Doing it God’s ways holds all of the benefits and none of the regrets!