This month I celebrated by thirty-fifth birthday! It was a beautiful day filled with joy! I danced with my two boys, wore my fanciest dress, kissed my husband dizzy, enjoyed a top notch dinner (that I didn’t have to cook) with loved ones, and was pampered from head to toe. I spent a small fortune on myself and did not regret a thing! I haven’t lavished myself with that kind of love since my first birthday after coming to Christ. This new year of life is pregnant with possibilities and the thought of it all fills my heart with delirious joy.
There was a season (more than a few if I am being honest) where everything seemed hopeless to me. It seemed my life would never be more than it was. I felt like I would die in mediocrity and all the God-given dreams in my heart would be nothing more than fodder for my graveyard. I mourned the life I thought was beyond my reach because I saw no way to bring my desires into reality.
Six years ago, I had all the same dreams I have now; but I also had a drastic pay cut which slashed my salary into shreds, not just half. I had a failing business which did not even turn enough of a profit to fill my gas tank. And I had a deep sense of inadequacy that haunted every new undertaking in my life. Even as I grew in Christ and learned to abase as well as abound, I could not shake the feeling that I was living below my purpose. Not just financially, but wholisticly.
Nothing satisfies like Christ. The deeper we dive in our relationship with Christ the more He opens our eyes to what He actually has for our lives. While we find satisfaction in Him, we also grew beyond the confines of mediocrity in all other aspects of our lives. For me, I want to teach God’s Word and impact others with it. I deeply desire to add value to others and pay myself my worth. I yearn to grow in wisdom, not just for the benefit of my own life and walk with the Lord, but also because I want to be a well for others just as my mentors in the faith have been a well for me. When people come to me with their issues, I want something to impart besides empty words that slap bandaids on wounds requiring The Great Physician’s surgical precision. In short, I want a life that is relevant in my generation. Let my calling card be an excellence spirit and as the world digs to find the root behind it, let them find Christ in all His glory, magnified more than any other number, accolade, title or statistic in my life.
I did myself and those I counsel a disservice by trying to severe God’s purpose for me from all the other aspects of my life. I naively believed that as long as I was thriving spiritually, it was okay for my finances, career, passion and ministry to be lagging, nonexistent or otherwise dysfunctional.
It’s a lie.
It’s a lie with which I comforted myself to excuse the ways in which I was not meeting Gods standards for my life. Nurturing that lie probably cost me an untold number of opportunities. Oftentimes, instead of walking in our God-given power and honing our skills and natural abilities, we make ourselves irrelevant by shrinking back and away from the platform God alone can give. We deny God the opportunity to speak through us because we refuse to hold the microphone.
Ordinarily, this would be a depressing and discouraging thought. But God does extra-ordinary things. Do not be the least bit discouraged. Be both joyful and humble that God’s grace has met you right where you are. Five years ago, my biggest fear was reaching the age of 40 and feeling as unaccomplished and stagnated as I did at 25 and 30 years old. Now at 35, I am irrevocably convinced that the best for my life is yet to come. For the first time ever, I’m seeing with clear eyes what God can do with my submitted life, not just spiritually but financially, physically, materially, and every other way you can fathom. It’s not too late to write multiple best selling books. It’s not too late to speak life into the women and future women that will shake the table, change history and win generations for Christ. It’s not too late to become a woman of prayer and the Word. It’s not too late to travel the world. It’s not too late to retire your parents. It’s not too late. There is an appointed time for the vision(s) God has given you. If, like me, you feel like you’ve wasted some years between the promise and the Promise Land, fret not – you will possess your possessions.
Yours In Christ,